


Here Without You

by Fluffygayprince



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dan's POV, Drug Use, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 19:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7904119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffygayprince/pseuds/Fluffygayprince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basicly just something sad I thought of while listening to Here Without You by 3 Doors Down. There isn’t really much of a story line. I can’t really say more than: Phil Left Dan and this is the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Without You

_A hundred days have made me older_  
_Since the last time that I saw your pretty face_  
_A thousand lies have made me colder_  
_And I don't think I can look at this the same_

Dan stared at the postcard in his hands, a silent tear streaming down his face. The boy in the card was smiling, his arm around the hips of a beautiful sunkissed girl. He seemed happy, much happier than he had been when they had still been living together, when life had still been good, when he hadn’t felt like drinking himself numb all the time. 

_But all the miles that separate  
They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_

The other boy was on his honeymoon in Japan right now, celebrating his marriage that had taken place merely days ago. Dan was happy for him, he really was. He just couldn’t shake of the feeling that it was him who was supposed to be there with the boy, not the girl in the picture. It was him who was supposed to celebrate their marriage, the marriage of him and the boy. 

_I'm here without you, baby_  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you, baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you, baby 

He laid the postcard next to him on his pillow and curled up tighter, pulling a blanket over his head and trying to forget about the turn his life had taken the last 2 years. It was hard, so hard, but with a little help of alcohol and some pills he found in their - his - bathroom cabinet he managed not to think about the day his best friend had packed all his stuff and moved out of their apartment towards a better, much happier future. 

_But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah._

Dan dreamed that night. He dreamed of a boy with black hair and sky blue eyes curling up behind him, pressing their bodies together and softly kissing Dan’s neck, mumbling a quick and barely audible ‘I love you’ against his skin.

_The miles just keep rollin'_  
As the people leave their way to say hello  
I've heard this life is overrated  
But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh, yeah, yeah 

The boy moved away, moved to another country, and they didn’t even talk anymore. Dan did not know how he had managed to mess everything up this badly.. They had been doing great, their youtube channels were growing and their friendship stayed as close as always. They had been reveling in their success, and had even been having trouble believing everything that was happening. So why did things go wrong?

_I'm here without you, baby_  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you, baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you, baby 

His life was empty. His life had been empty ever since the other boy left his life. Dan still thought of him, of course he did. How couldn’t he? His life was nothing without the other boy. They had been together, the closest friends anyone could picture, for so long, that living a life without the other one just seemed pointless. 

_But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight, girl, its only you and me_

Dan smiles at the other boy’s words, not believing he was hearing him say them. His mind was slow and heavy, and every breath seemed to turn him even colder. He was so cold. So cold all the time. But how could he be cold, he had a warm body pressed against his back so he should be warm, shouldn’t he? He tried to turn around, but something was keeping him from moving. He tried again. And again. Nothing seemed to work. He was tired, he’d turn around some other time, that’s okay. He could do that. With an almost empty and content mind he laid still again, still clutching the blanket and enjoying the feeling of the others body against him. 

_Everything I know, and anywhere I go (oh whoa)_  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love (oh whoa)  
And when the last one falls  
When it's all said and done  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa, oh, oh 

His world had crumbled the day his love moved away, and he had been trying to build it back up, but it didn’t seem to work. And he tried to get him back, he really did. But here he was, alone and cold, with nobody around him and a body that was turning colder, a mind getting hazier by the second. She had taken him, and somewhere deep down he was glad she had. He was better off without him, and he would gladly offer up his life so the other could be happy. 

_I'm here without you, baby_  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you, baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you, baby 

Tonight. Tonight would be the end of everything he was feeling, It would be the end of missing the man, cause who was he kidding, the boy had turned into a man now, it would be the end of being alone, it would be the end of not eating, it would be the end of drinking until he blacked out, and it would be the end of everything repeating itself the next day.

He tried to open his eyes for the last time, he tried to see their apartment for the last time, but he couldn’t. Darkness was slowly taking over his body, and he was letting it. This was okay, everything would be okay after this. He could finally disappear. His love was happy and wouldn’t miss him, so it was okay for him to go now. With the last of his strength he reached next to him and picked the postcard back up, bringing it to his face he pressed the mans face to his lips, smiling softly as tears streamed down his face. This was it.

_But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight, girl, it's only you and me_

As he felt himself slip into unconsciousness, the body pressed up behind him disappeared slowly, vanishing in thin air and leaving him alone in his last moments…. Just like the real Phil did.


End file.
